Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
