My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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