Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
