you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
