She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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