dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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