new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
