So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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