last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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