i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
