What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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