so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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