I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
