I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we're making bets on your personal life
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
