He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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