so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
