i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
