Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
