Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
