What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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