Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
