what day is it and did you see me today?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
