turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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