My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
