he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
