He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize