You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
