Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
