I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
