We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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