He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
