How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
