im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
