i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
