Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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