these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
