Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i believe in u and ur pee
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