and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
