The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The uberlube is also flammable
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
