Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
