Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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