96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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