cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drunk is not a location!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
