gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
