I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
