I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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