I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
