did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
