Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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