He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
