You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
