you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
