I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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