I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
