So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
