Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
