belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
