There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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