This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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