yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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