I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
