Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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