Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize