A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
