Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
