My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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