i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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