the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
